Existential Angst, part two
Posted by lpearle on 14 December 2016
Sometimes, life isn’t fair. Things this year have been going so well: the new library staff has become an amazingly tight team, teachers from math and science(!!) are coming to us for help teaching citations and working on projects, the changes to our physical plant and collection have been well-received. And we made two great videos:
Reason to celebrate, right?
Life’s funny. Because, no celebration. Last Sunday, I woke up with blurred vision in my left eye. It was worse Monday. My usually wonderful 20/15 (with corrective lenses) vision was 20/50 in one eye. Two days later, it wasn’t even measurable. The good news – the only good news – is that I’m not going blind and that this should clear up… sometime. The bad news is that only 50% of the time is optical neuritis idiopathic. The other 50%? Serious. Very serious. And I don’t know which it is.
I can still read. Watch tv. I’m even driving during the day. But to me, reading is my life. It’s my supertalent. And even though I can read, it’s difficult when all you have is one eye to go one (the left is regaining peripheral vision, but s.l.o.w.l.y.). So who am I if I can’t ever regain my eyesight?
I’ve never been one to identify completely with my profession. Come retirement time, buh-bye. Unlike many others I know (and a current problem with the Democratic leadership, where average age is 70+ and the entire group have been leading for 20+ years, completely losing a generation of leaders in the process, much like AASL) I’m not convinced school librarianship will fall apart without me. Others can lead.
But here I am, 10-15 years from that time, wondering what’s going to happen. And dreading it.
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